Love Makes You Do the Wacky

OK, I'll admit it. I'm a closet romantic.

Actually, that's not true. To steal a line from a bumper sticker I saw once, I am not only out of the closet, I am sitting in the living room with my feet propped up. However, most of my relationships have been remarkably unromantic.

I'm not saying that my love life has been awful. I've been fortunate enough to be involved with several wonderful men, many of whom are still my friends. It's just that the moonlight and roses treatment has for the most part eluded me. Most of my relationships have been of the no-nonsense variety, and I while I wouldn't trade my past experiences for anything, I sometimes feel a little jealous that I missed out on the fairy tale.

I've been thinking of this recently because a lot of my friends are crazy mad in love at the moment. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern just got married a few months ago after knowing each other for about 10 years, and they still have this incredibly cute passion between them. Zappagirl just got back together with her college sweetheart, and they have spent the last six weeks flying cross-country to spend time with each other. (He lives in California, she lives in Ohio.) Timmy, her beau, just left on Wednesday after spending a week with her. She just called me to let me know he's flying back into Cincinnati next weekend to go to the Witches Ball with her.

Everybody, all together now: Awwwwwww....

Even my parents are disgustingly cute. When I worked for them a few years ago, my co-worker and I would watch them walk across the parking lot on their way to lunch, holding hands. They've been married for 36 years, and they still have the same affection for each other that I remember them having when I was a kid. (My parents were high school sweethearts and are 50's sitcom Ozzie and Harriet cute. I kid you not. They are the number one reason why I didn't give up on the concept of true love years ago.)

Given my usual cynical nature towards life, you would think at this point I would be begging for a glass of cabernet to go with all this cheese. But for some reason, I find it endearing and reassuring. Maybe I'm just living vicariously through them. Yeah, a lot of times the world is a lousy place and the people who reside there are awful, but it is possible to be deliriously happy and find someone to share it with. I've got proof.

And while I've got the schmaltzy virtual violins playing, I'll leave you with a few disgustingly sappy quotes from various movies and TV shows. (Kudos to the IMDb, my absolute favorite website ever - where trivia fanatics go to die.) Everyone out there have a good holiday weekend. It's a three day weekend for me, so there may not be an entry on Monday. Until then, go out and celebrate Sweetest Day a bit early without all the Hallmark commercialism and kiss someone you love this weekend. (Or someone you like a lot.)

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I think the most rewarding relationships, the ones that last, are born from friendship. One day you look at the person and see more than you did the night before, like a switch was flicked on somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully, The X Files


Matthew: I respect and admire you.
Maria: Is that love?
Matthew: No, that's respect and admiration.
- Trust


There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
- Harris K. Telemacher, L.A. Story


I am not full of virtues and noble qualities. I love. That is all. But I love strongly, exclusively and steadfastly.
- George Sand, Impromptu


I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never get to talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
- Holden McNeil, Chasing Amy


People need people, Steve. It has nothing to do with sex. Ok, maybe 40 percent. 60 percent. Forget it.
-Janet Livermore, Singles


Forget for this moment the smog and the cars and the restaurant and the skating and remember only this. A kiss may not be the truth, but it's what we wish were true.
- Harris K. Telemacher, L.A. Story


You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
- Silent Bob, Clerks


Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and..., particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy, in fact, eh, while he was still in the Partridge Family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... eh... eh... no, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was going to say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... better get on...
Carrie: That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.
-Four Weddings and a Funeral


What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it.
- Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything


Watts: I think we'd get along much better if we didn't spend so much time together anyomre.
Keith: Why?
Watts: Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy and I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me. 'Cause I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith. The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me and my drums and you.
- Some Kind of Wonderful


I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
- Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally


Sara McDowel: And if I were to go?
Harris K. Telemacher: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses wouldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off.
- L.A. Story


Anna Scott: I can't believe you have that picture on your wall.
William Thacker: You like Chagall?
Anna Scott: I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.
William Thacker: With a goat playing the violin.
Anna Scott: Yes - happiness wouldn't be happiness without a violin-playing goat.
- Notting Hill


She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
- Sean, Good Will Hunting


LInda, uh, it's me. I had to call you. It's about midnight. I was just having many beers. And, uh, I just wanted to say what I should have said at the dock. I fucking chickened out when I acted casual, like Mr. Casual. I should have said it. You...belong...with...me! We belong together. And what really pisses me off is that, now that we're really talking, you thought I proposed to you only because you were pregnant. What's that about? I mean...hey, this is not the bathroom! And you know maybe if I had said some of these things at the dock it would have made a difference because, but I think we made a big mistake because, we had good times and we had bad times, but we had times. And I would like to start over. I would like to be new to you. I want to be new to you. I want to be Mr. New. So call me back if you want to. But this is the last time I'll call. And, if you really needed to know how I feel, how I really feel, that's how I feel. I love you. And that's something you should know, so I won't bother you again. So, good night. And goodbye. And call me back. Goodbye.
- Steve Dunne, Singles

I feel all mushy now. Gonna go home and watch The Princess Bride now.