Things to Do at Zappagirl's When You Can't Sleep

So last night I found myself at Zappagirl's house with a massive bout of insomnia. Why does this always happen during the work week?

As I type this, I have been up for 34 hours and all I want to do is crawl under my desk and take a long nap. Unfortunately, that's not an option. My benefits plan, as comprehensive as it is, has yet to offer time for me to curl up with my blankie in the afternoon.

Preschoolers don't know how good they've got it.

Here's a list of things to do to pass the time while the wee hours of the morning tick by slowly...

Watch cable until every single channel is showing the Miss Cleo Psychic Reading infomercials. Snicker every time she loses her Jamaican accent while interpreting the tarot cards for someone.

Watch VideoHeroin1 until they actually show a video that isn't directed by David Meyers

Consider starting American Gods. Decide against it, because you're too loopy to comprehend the English language at the moment.

Go to Scifi.com to listen to the Seeing Ear Theater production of "Snow, Glass, Apples."

Sing Richard Cheese songs to yourself. Giggle maniacally.

Catch up on websites that are firewalled at work. Get very jealous because pamie got to see Radiohead.

Get very excited because Destroy All Monsters should have the newest installment of Survivor: Monster Island up tomorrow, now that Musashi is back from his honeymoon. Figure out who to root for since Gamera got voted off the island.

Realize that you are the biggest geek in the world.

Consider posting an entry to Blogger. Decide against it because forming complete sentences at this hour is out of the question.

Make melancholy mix CDs. Realize that even though your selections are brilliant, the finished products are bound to put you to sleep at your desk when you get to work.

Start counting the hours until JohnnyB gets back into town. Hope that you haven't erased the email with the address of his new apartment.

Wonder if Roger Mexico gave you the wrong home phone number on purpose to get rid of you. Mentally berate self for even thinking such a thing.

But still fret over the remote possibility.

Pet the kitties, who are being extra friendly because their food bowls are empty.

Dread going into work, because Jools already told you she has 8 million check requests for you. Vow to stay off the internet and focus on your job. (Yeah, right.)

Mentally go through social calendar for the next few weeks and realize that you are going to be one busy chick.

Think about stopping at Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. Remember you already have a box of Pop Tarts in your desk drawer, purchased in an effort to save money.

Ponder whether you should wear hair up or down to work. Decide to pull it all back in a ponytail so it will at least be somewhat straight by the end of the day.

Play After Dark Solitaire until your eyes bleed.

Listen to the birds chirping outside. Watch the sky become steadily brighter as the day begins anew.

Listen to Zappagirl's alarm clock go off. Realize she likes the snooze bar almost as much as you do.

Damn, my life is glamorous and fun-filled. Don't you wish you were me?