Yes, Another List...

Hope everyone had a good holiday - Christmas, Hannukah, Yule, Kwanzaa, Festivus, whatever you celebrate. The non-stress plan went well. I must say that this past Christmas min-vacation was what I'd always heard it was supposed to be like: filled with fun, friends, food, and festivities. (Not to mention uncontrollable consonance....)

Vahn got into town safely, and we went to the Argosy Casino in Lawrenceburg with a friend of his. Now, I'm not big on gambling, but I was excited about catching up with my friend and I figured it would be a new experience. Had a good time, but I would have had a much better time if I had quit after the first round at the blackjack table, where I had doubled my money. (I figured blackjack was safe since I understood the basics of the game.) Unfortunately, I decided to try my luck at the craps table. Big mistake. My winnings disappeared in a matter of minutes. Won back $10 at the roulette table, and played a little more blackjack with less success than the previous time. Net losses = $10. Not too terrible, but I would have much rather walked out a winner. Oh well. Guess I'm not ready for Vegas.

Finished up my Christmas shopping on Saturday, and stopped off at Roger Mexico's to wish him a safe drive to his grandparents' house the next day. (He was stressing because his parents were coming up for a visit after Christmas and he wanted the apartment to be clean. Actually, it was reasonably clean to start with. I think he was aiming for immaculate.) Sunday was spent at the parents' house wrapping presents and preparing hors d'oeuvres for the shindig at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's later that night. (By the way, I am the hors d'oeuvres queen. If I have the time, I can make finger food like nobody's business.) Shindig may actually be too strong a word, since there were more cats (12) present than humans (6). We ate too much, drank too much coffee (well, Hacksaw and I did), caught up on each others' lives, and played Joycean Scrabble. Joycean Scrabble is our own bastardized version of the classic game played on a giant customized board. The main rule: if you can justify the word, it's valid. It's not unusual to see something like exveganwail (the noise a vegan makes when he realizes that he's just eaten a substance containing eggs) or jedimettvoid (the lesser known Jedi mind trick that makes all of the smoked sausages disappear from the backyard barbecue...these are not the kielbasas you're looking for!) on the board. The conversation at times got pretty darned close to insane (like when Rosencrantz decided she wanted to meet the Dalai Lama, then kidnap him and take him waterskiing), but that's always to be expected when we get together.

Christmas Day was spent at Mom and Dad's, with the traditional non-stereotypical homemade barbecue lunch. Wow, my mom's a good cook. I'd weigh about a ton if I still lived at home. Presents were exchanged (I got a zoo membership, as well as a copy of American Beauty and Friday's gift certificates, so I was pretty happy), and my niece provided entertainment for the afternoon. That evening I headed over to Zappagirl's for dinner (Timmy was in town, and she had made enough food to feed us for the next several days) and present exchange. Their gift to me completely bowled me over...

Dude, they got me a computer. No kidding. I'm still dumbfounded, and more than a bit ashamed that I got this in exchange for bath salts and an aromatherapy candle. They kept trying to rationalize it by telling me that it wasn't that big a deal since Timmy had pretty much built it from spare parts, and all they'd really spent actual money on was the keyboard and the modem, but A COMPUTER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I won't have to post from work anymore! I'll actually be able to go wherever I want to go on the internet, without the firewall legal notice popping up half the time!

I have the best friends ever, and I'm not just saying that because they got me a really cool Christmas gift. Hell, I was happy with the Powerpuff Girls talking clip watch. (Buttercup, my favorite, of course.)

But now it's back to work, and it's insanity time. It's the end of the year, and of course all of our clients waited until the last minute on their accounts, so we have to work like crazy to get everything done before we leave here on Friday. I am not looking forward to tomorrow. Must remember to bring snack food to hide in my desk drawer, because I don't foresee leaving my cubicle for much of anything besides a really fast bathroom break.

Oh, by the way, if anyone out there has not seen Requiem for a Dream and it's still playing in your corner of the world, stop what you're doing and go see it now. I had seen Pi, the director's previous work, and was blown away by it, but this movie leaves it in the dust. Darren Aronofsky seems to have a talent for making his movies more than just a visual experience. (I've never had a migraine headache in my life, but after seeing Pi, I sympathize with all of you who do suffer from them.) I was on the bad diet pill speed trip right along with Ellen Burstyn, and I was just as freaked as she was. If the Academy ignores this movie, I'm going to be so pissed.

Roger Mexico and I got together the other night to compare notes on the family Christmas celebrations, share opinions on the movie (he'd seen it the previous week), and discuss life in general. With the upcoming New Year, we started making verbal resolution lists. If the two of us can manage to stick to some of them, I think the world will be a better place for everyone involved. Nothing outlandish was proposed, just a few changes to make life more manageable.

Here's some of the ones I've come up with so far...

I will get my apartment clean. I cannot move the new computer or my new kitten into my abode in the state it's in now. It just seems like such an impossible task right now. I keep meaning to do it, but trying to figure out where to start is so difficult. Rosencrantz has offered her help, and Roger Mexico has offered moral support and advice (yes, I know...baby steps). My goal is to have everything clean, redecorated, and moved in by March. I'd like to have an open house or gathering of some sort in the spring.

I will learn how to use my computer for more than just games, Blogger, and Napster (which I fear is inevitable). I've already requested to take every computer class I can fit into my schedule at work, partially because it will make me a more valuable and marketable employee, but mostly so I can play with my new toy. (Sorry, BossGuy. I did have ulterior motives when I sent you that email.) I will get online in a timely manner (must start ISP shopping), and if at all possible, I will have my own domain within the year. After all, I cannot begin my plans for world domination from Blogspot. I want graphics, dammit! (JohnnyB, you have been warned. Fire up the scanner, baby, and be prepared to actually start using your degree for something. You have been commissioned.) I'd also like to set up a "collective" website where my other creative friends could show off their talents, but that's still a way off. Selfish time. Me first.

I will start writing more, both online and otherwise. I've really neglected my poetry and the novel is still a big folder full of notes. As much as I try to convince myself that all of the scribbling I do at Roger Mexico's while he's composing will fit into the storyline somewhere, I have yet to sit down and figure out exactly where. With the addition of the new computer, I will have the opportunity to write here more than once a week, and I do plan to try to expand the format into more than "this week I did this and this and this." Granted, those entries will still be there, but I'd like to branch out a bit. Offer some opinions and criticisms on life as I see it. Torture everyone with my angsty poetry and whiny fiction. (My entire poetry group winces in unison....) Who knows where I might end up going with this little project?

If all goes well with the writing, I would like to submit my finished product somewhere. If I get rejected, that's OK. It's more of a confidence exercise than anything else. But if Hissyfit or Salon or whoever likes my stuff, so much the better.

I will get Joe Camel off my back once and for all. I doubt I can say the same for the cloves, but I will attempt to cut back.

I will start eating healthier. I guess this means I have to learn to cook. (And much as Roger Mexico tries, he will not convert me into a vegetarian. Yes, I like the tofu and the fake chicken, but I'm not giving up the Skyline Chili.) I will attempt to lose a bit more weight, since I'm pretty close to my target. No more weird diets. Just eating right and...

Exercise. Yeah, I know I say this every year, but I'll give it another shot. Dancing is exercise, after all. So is walking to the bus stop (which I plan to do a lot more of).

I will cut back on my drinking. Not that I'm passed out in the gutter every night, but when the first words out of my mouth when I visit Roger Mexico's are "I'm gonna grab a beer, 'kay?" I need to curb my actions.

I will read more. I am embarrassed by how little I read these days. What I do read is mostly crap. I'm going to try to space out the serious reading, alternating it with "fun" reading. More nonfiction, more classics.

Having said that, I will finish reading Ulysses by James Joyce by the time I go to the Bloomsday celebration with Rosencrantz and Gulidenstern. That gives me 6 months, right?

I will try to have a more positive outlook on life. That's a tough one, since I've never been an exceptionally optimistic person, and a lot of monumentally bad stuff tends to happen around me. But I did have a long discussion with Roger Mexico on this one, and I'm going to make every effort to stop being such a mental case. If it means going to the extreme of going the medical route, then so be it. I'm tired of living like this, and I'm sure that all of my friends are sick of my mini-breakdowns.

I will not read the spoiler boards for Buffy the Vampire Slayer anymore. A small resolution, but Jooles is holding me to this one.

Hopefully writing my resolutions out and posting them will make me feel a bit more obligated to try to stick to them this year. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

Since I probably won't have the time or energy to post tomorrow, I guess that's it for this year. Have fun this New Year's Eve, kiss someone you really love at midnight, and for God's sake call a cab and get home alive! See everyone in 2001 after I've rid myself of the obligatory hangover....

'Tis the Season to be Stressing

Finally! Blogspot is back up and running! I've been very frustrated for the past few days. Not that I've had all that much to say, but just the fact that I couldn't post was pissing me off big time.

Well, so far there hasn't been a ton of snow here. The predicted Great White Death of last week turned out to be about an inch or two of snow. More is predicted for tonight, but I'm taking any and all weather reports of massive accumulation with a grain of salt. It is, however, very very cold. I just ran the mail across the street for the evening, and I left my gloves in the office. Brrrrrrr. There was a guy busking on the corner, playing off key Christmas carols on his saxaphone, and all I could think of was the reed freezing to his lips in the middle of "Winter Wonderland."

Big news this past weekend. I got an early Christmas present from my parents - a digital phone. Yeah, I know, I swore I'd never have one, but my pager went insane on Thursday, and whenever I tried to pick up my voicemails, all I got was an earful of static. After a lengthy call to the customer service department, I was informed that there was no problem with my service. (I guess it was all in my head or something? Whatever.) So I weighed my options, and decided that it would make more sense for me to get a phone, which I had always regarded as a yuppie gadget.

After a few days of changing my ring tone and adding everyone I know into the address book and switching faceplates and text messaging Roger Mexico every twenty minutes, I've revised my opinion. I'm in love with my new phone. I sat at the Warehouse with my friend Jaybear for at least half an hour compiling the top zillion cool things that our new playtoys do (he just got one from the same company). I'm sure the newness will wear off soon, but for now it's my obsession.

JohnnyB was in town this weekend, and we spent the entire weekend hanging out with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Somehow, a late lunch on Saturday turned into a 30 hour party. We ate entirely too much food, played with the kittens too much, laughed more than the law should allow, and managed to fit in a matinee of The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged) at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival. (If you ever get a chance to catch this show, see it. All 37 of Shakespeare's plays in two hours, done by three actors. Same goes for CSF. I have yet to see a bad show by this company.

Unfortunately, the party had to end, and he headed back home for the holidays. He's coming back for New Year's Eve, and since this will be the first year in 7 years that I will not be behind the bar slinging champagne, I'm actually looking forward to watching the ball drop this year.

JohnnyB's departure coincided with other friends arriving in town, though. Hacksaw and eBeth got here on Tuesday, and Vahn called me this afternoon to let me know he was "home" and wanted to get together for dinner and drinks sometime in the next day or so. Guess I'll be dying my hair tonight. I haven't seen him in three years, and my pride won't allow me to greet him with nasty brown/gray roots. (Of course, he still reads my page from time to time, so I guess I'm busted, huh?)

I've been so stressed at work that I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I didn't put up the tree, I didn't bake cookies, and I'm nowhere close to being done with my shopping. Presents wrapped? HA! You're funny.

Rosencrantz and I were talking about how insane the holidays have been this year, and she has decided that this should be the year we all just chill out. Every year for the past ten years or so, she's had a huge blowout on Christmas Eve - the past two years the party was held at the bar that she and Guildenstern owned. This year, she's inviting a few people over to hang out and polish off a few bottles of wine, and I personally think it's the best idea for all of us. No extravagent cooking experiments, no giant gift exchange. The presents can wait. Who says Christmas has to be on Christmas? I'm personally planning on making my Christmas cookies on Martin Luther King Day.

I do still feel guilty whenever I get a Christmas card, though. I used to be so good about this. I sent cards to everyone I knew, shopped hardcore to find the perfect gift for everyone on my list, baked 24 dozen cookies and countless loaves of banana bread, made fudge, hung up stockings for me and the cat...all while I was working two jobs. What happened?

Oh yeah. I got old and tired.

Somewhere down the line, the concept of the holiday season got lost. It turned into a long list of haftas. I hafta start shopping in August, or I'll never get done in time. I hafta put up enough flashing lights on my house so it's visible from space. I hafta write a yearly newsletter to everyone I've met in my entire life to include in the custom Christmas cards with the picture of the kids and the dog underneath a giant evergreen. I hafta run up all my credit cards so I'll be paying on this holiday when it's June. I hafta run myself completely ragged so I'm too exhausted to actually enjoy the family gathering.

"Come on gang, don't fight. You people focus so hard on the things wrong with Christmas that you've forgotten what's so right about it. Don't you see, this is the one time of year we're supposed to forget all the bad stuff. Stop worryin' and being sad about the state of the world, and for just one day say, 'Ahh, the heck with it, let's sing and dance, and bake cookies.' "

- Mr. Hankey, South Park

(Yeah, that's right. I'm quoting a talking piece of poo. Deal with it.)

I'm coming up with a new list of haftas this year. I hafta remember that the season is about spending time with the special people in my life, my friends and family. I hafta realize it's not about the presents or how much money I spent. I hafta realize that I may not find that perfect gift until February, but it doesn't mean it won't be appreciated then because it's not given on December 25th. I hafta realize that sugar cookies taste good all year, even if they're not in the shape of reindeer and trees and Santa Claus.

I hafta relax.

Having said that, of course I'm off to do some last minute shopping. I'm such a hypocrite.