What Have We Learned?

Up until my accident last month, I'd been quite proud of my independence. I'd relished my freedom, the fact that I relied upon very few people in my life. I was able to do things by myself and do them well, thank you very much.

Life has a funny way of reminding you that you're never too old to ask for help. Too bad I'm still dealing with the aftereffects of the punchline.

While I've managed to figure out ways to get most of my day-to-day duties done, there are still things that are incredibly difficult or nigh impossible. I can run the mail upstairs at work, but it usually means I will spend the next twenty minutes sitting at my desk gritting my teeth and blinking back tears, cursing myself under my breath for not just asking someone to get the address labels from the printer upstairs. I have figured out how to get my coffee and dinner from the kitchen to the living room in my apartment, but it takes me five or ten minutes to get forty feet so I don't slosh coffee out of the cap on the travel mug. And everything I eat has to fit in my Elmo lunchbox.

(Yeah, that's right. I'm thirty five and I carry an Elmo lunchbox. Lately, I've been carrying it nearly everywhere. What of it?)

There are still things that are ridiculously simple, things that I previously had taken for granted, that I simply cannot do. I cannot do my laundry. The washer and dryer are in the basement, and I haven't figured out a way to lug my dirty clothes, detergent, and fabric softener down two flights of stairs while I'm hobbling about on my crutches. Thankfully my mother has stepped in to help me out there, as well as going to Krogers and Staples and Complete Petmart; after my ill-fated trip to Walgreens where my leg started to give out by aisle 3, I'm pretty happy to send her into the store with a list while I sit in the car and fiddle with the radio.

After downloading the recommended updates the other day, my computer has decided that the factory-installed sound drivers are no longer compatible with Windows and promptly shut them down. So now, after finally getting around to getting DSL so I could be a music pirate like all the cools kids, I have no sound whatsoever on my computer at all. Unfortunately, I'm not currently able to take my computer anywhere to be serviced, so I will probably end up spending a small fortune calling in a technician who makes house calls. Or I'll just have to surf in silence for another month or two. Since I'm not especially techno-savvy, I don't have much of a choice in the matter.

I cannot drive, which has curtailed my independence quite a bit. No more going to Blockbuster on a whim to pick up the entire first season of Six Feet Under or running to UDF to get a midnight malt. I can't even drive myself to work. For crying out loud, I just put a new clutch in the car and finally replaced the stereo, and it's sitting in front of my parent's house. My dad has taken it out for a spin once a week or so. Hopefully he's figured out how to turn down the stereo, as I was listening to some pretty obnoxious trip hop at a louder than usual volume before all of this happened, and he couldn't figure out how to eject the CD when he went to pick up my car. (Picturing my not-so-tiny father driving my tiny little car listening to Moloko never ceases to crack me up.)

I've been catching rides with co-workers who live near me, but that doesn't help when it's late at night and I've run out of sour cream or when new movies are finally released on DVD and I don't have transportation to the nearest multimedia shop. For instance, I've been patiently waiting all summer for Chicago and Bowling for Columbine to be released. I'd carefully budgeted my money to cover the purchases (very carefully, since The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers comes out next week). Unfortunately, I didn't manage to drag myself to the local Media Play and I am not at this moment singing along happily to "Cell Block Tango," nor am I watching Michael Moore interview Marilyn Manson on the culture of fear. Why does Amazon not offer instantaneous shipping?

The litter box has proved to be a problem as well. There was no one available last week to change it, and my apartment was quite pungent, to say the least. Add to this problem the fact that Kismet will often show her displeasure over a soiled box by intentionally missing. So if I were to attempt to fix the problem myself, I would either have to sit on the floor and hope to avoid soggy smelly carpet, or I would have to balance on one leg, lean over the litter box, and try to juggle the scoop, the trash bag, and my crutches. Folks, I know my limits. The latter situation would have ended up with me tumbling headfirst into a giant tub of sand and cat doots. And this wasn't even taking into account that I would have to run the bag of cat poo downstairs to the trash cans, or that I was out of Nature's Miracle to treat the carpet. (Interestingly enough, Amazon also sells Nature's Miracle. I could've solved the DVD problem and the pet-odored carpet with one door-to-door delivery. Good to know!)

Thankfully, Mom picked up the Nature's Miracle last night while we ran errands, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern came over to change the cat box and hang out for a while. I was not overcome by ammonia fumes in the hallway this morning, and for this I am incredibly grateful. The kitties are happy, too.

I also have not figured out how to safely take a bath or shower, which is driving me particularly insane. Something as simple as taking a long hot bubble bath sounds particularly intoxicating, but I haven't got a clue how I would manage to get in or out of the tub without managing to injure myself further. And showering while balancing on one leg? I don't think so.

All of this will come with time, I suppose. I get to go to the orthopedist next week, and hopefully he'll be pleased with my progress. Hopefully I'll be upgraded to partial weight-bearing on the bad ankle. Hopefully soon I will be able to tool around in my little car, listening to weird music with the windows rolled down, on my way to some frivolous shopping. At this point, I'm probably about halfway there.

I've been trying to look for the lessons that Life is trying to teach me from this situation. So far, it looks like this:

Don't take the little things in life for granted.

When times get tough, a lot of people will offer to help you. Some are sincere, and some (though they may have the best of intentions) lack on the follow through. Learn who you can depend upon, and accept their offers of assistance gracefully. It doesn't make you any less of a grownup.

Patience, grasshopper. Patience.

Oh yeah, and one more thing: Amazon sells just about freakin' everything, and will deliver it to your door in a matter of days. Amazing.