The Coffee Filter War

"What mighty contests arise from such trivial things."
- Alexander Pope

As a rule, I don't like to talk about work here. Well, OK. I take that back. Weird animal questions that I have to field? Sure. The idiocy of teachers who don't know the school's address when booking a field trip? You bet. Wacky tales of animals running loose in the office? No problem there. But office politics? The less time spent dealing with it, the better.

This incident, however, was just so ridiculous that I had to laugh about it.

Apparently before I started here, someone in another department (we'll call them Department A) did something that irritated someone in my department. I have no idea what the offending action was; that detail has been lost to the ages. From that point on, though, it has been the policy of some of my co-workers to talk trash about Department A and avoid working with them as much as possible.

I personally have no problem with Department A. I really like the folks who work over there a lot. There are a lot of similarities in our daily job details and at times we get a lot of each other's misdirected phone calls, so we spend a lot of time transferring confused callers back and forth. (Well, and snickering about some of the more clueless ones.) The people who work there have been nothing short of professional and dependable; I can count on them to follow through when I request something. I've always thought we were all supposed to be working for the same organization, we should all have the same goals, and should put whatever petty differences we have aside and work together.

I guess that the warmongers in my department, though, consider my feelings about Department A to be naïve. I have been chided in the past for dealing with them firsthand in placing orders for college student ticket orders. Forget the fact that Department A has the ticket printer, and the Operations Manager said that I should fax all requests directly to them. The Chief Warmonger in my department decided it would be easier to email the orders to the Operations Manager, so he can print out the order, then run it upstairs to Department A. That makes perfect sense, right?

At a recent staff meeting, the Chief Warmonger also made a derogatory comment about the friendliness and organizational abilities of the head person in Department A. I would say it was an example of the pot calling the kettle black, except that the kettle in question is a happy shiny stainless steel model whose efficiency is something to be admired. (However, I have learned that trying to discuss anything where Chief Warmonger might have to admit misjudgment is a losing battle, so I just frowned at his comments and held my tongue.)

Which brings us to the latest brouhaha... on Friday, our department ran out of coffee filters. We have one of those industrial sized coffee makers (with the extra burners) which requires larger coffee filters. Running over to the nearest Kroger isn't an option; I've seen them available in office supply catalogs or in places like Staples or Office Max. Only problem is ordering office supplies around here can, at times, be like pulling teeth. (And trying to get reimbursed after buying something out of pocket is an exercise in futility most of the time.)

On Monday, the building housekeeper came downstairs to let me know about the filters. (She's been getting coffee for me in the mornings to save me from having to crutch upstairs.) I told her not to worry about it, but she went across the parking lot to see if anyone would be willing to donate to the caffeination cause. She returned a few minutes later with about 50 filters from Department A. I immediately sent a thank you email to them for making it possible for me to be awake enough to function.

This morning I was told that this small but generous gesture had fallen prey to the latest round of Office Politics. Our receptionist had sent the coffee filters back to Department A, choosing instead to raid the supplies of the overnight program's supply. When I asked her what happened to the filters we got yesterday, she gave me the following explanation (with editorial comments added by me):

"Oh, see I told the housekeeper that I had the matter under control. (What, putting off ordering filters and stealing them from another person's budget is considered 'under control?') But she went over and got some from Department A, and well, you know how much they hate us. (Yes, they hate us so much that they sent over a month's worth of coffee filters. That's what I always do for people that I don't like: help them out in times of need.) So I just sent them back and ordered some from the office supply place. The filters should be here tomorrow. (So, you just sent them back, indicating that we don't need their damn charity and further muddying the waters between our two departments. Nice work.) That just how the politics are around here. (Ah, so it's a politics thing, and I wouldn't understand. Whatever.)"

She was right in that aspect. I don't understand how people can act like this over something so petty. It was a handful of coffee filters, folks. I doubt that Department A had ulterior motives in sending them over. The refusal of them, however, makes our department look like a bunch of spoiled children. ("I don't want your stupid coffee filters. They probably have cooties.") And if Department A didn't previously have any animosity towards us, acting in this manner is a good way to create it, isn't it?

I suppose this is Life's way of reminding me to stop taking things so personally and so seriously. A lot of the challenges we face on a day-to-day basis are as inconsequential as coffee filters, but it's easy to blow things out of proportion.

There are bigger things in the world to worry about than whether we should accept a gift of coffee filters from a person we dislike. Right now, my plate's kind of full with much bigger things to be stressed about. Who supplied the paper strainer that keeps the coffee grounds out of my morning cuppa is way down at the bottom of my list.

But yet, I still feel compelled to write about it here....